Incestuous sexual abuse is not "sexual indiscretion" or "affection that went too far." It is often "planned, calculated and systematic" and aimed at manipulating and taking advantage of a victim's trust. This kind of abuse is facilitated by and couched within a trusted relationship between victim and perpetrator -- a relationship, not limited to immediate or biological family members but extending to anyone who is known to the victim, and has contact with the child in a familial and/or household setting. Consequently, perpetrators use and abuse their position to gain access to those they target for violation.
Who Commits This Abuse?
Perpetrators of incestuous sexual abuse are not limited to immediate family members but include all adults who have contact with a child in a familial and/or household setting. This means extended family members, regular visitors to the home, family friends, private tutors, priests, family physicians, and household workers. Those who commit this abuse will frequently say that they did not intend to hurt the child. Whether or not, this kind of abuse involves pain or injury, and whether or not the abuser intended to hurt the victim, it is a sexual violation. It often traumatizes the child, leaving long-lasting effects. Disbelieving the victim, minimizing the abuse and victim-blaming compound the sexual abuse. Silencing the victim isolates the child. Isolation and silence prolong the effects of the abuse.
Victims of incestuous sexual abuse range from 10-month old babies to 16-year olds. The abuse involves sexual violation that takes place frequently within but not limited to the home.
Abuse Experienced By Victims
Incestuous sexual abuse is not limited to touch. In fact, sometimes, it may not involve touch at all (see list below). If the abuse involves touch, it is not limited to "bad touch" as a child might understand "bad touch," meaning it may begin with touching non-genital areas. The "touch" may also not involve injury or pain. Kinds of abuse include but are not limited to:
* Using the victim, usually a child, to masturbate
* Fondling that includes sexualized hugging and kissing
* Grabbing and pinching buttocks or breasts
* Removing the victim's clothes for sexual stimulation
* Watching the victim while undressing or forcing the victim to watch abuser undressing
* Touching or rubbing against the genitals of the victim with fingers, mouth, penis
* Penis in mouth of victim
* Penetrating vaginal and/or anal areas with fingers, objects and/or penis
* Exposing the victim to pornography
* Looking at victim in a sexual way
* Engaging in sexual conversation with victim
Where to report child sexual abuse:
National Child Abuse Hotline 1-800-4-A- Child
Maryland Reporting Line (in-state) 1-800-332-6347; 9-5 M-F, must call the social service in your county after hours.
Survivors of Incest Anonymous (SIA) (410)282-3400
Rape Abuse Incest National Network (RAINN) 1-800-656-HOPE